


Mistaken Identity

by Jack_Wilder



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mistaken Identity, Rape/Non-con Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-01
Updated: 2015-07-01
Packaged: 2018-04-07 04:09:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4248780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jack_Wilder/pseuds/Jack_Wilder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin hurts Eggsy in the most horrible way possible thinking it’s Harry on the 1 year anniversary of his death. Can Merlin forgive himself and can Eggsy make Merlin talk to him and can he forgive Merlin?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mistaken Identity

**Author's Note:**

> Please heed the warnings and steer clear if this will trigger you in any way possible or if it is not your cup of tea!!
> 
> In my opinion rape or any form sexual assault whether it is done to a male or female, young or old is one for the worse crimes in the world. Sexual predators deserve slow and very painful deaths.
> 
> With that said, I am sure that I am not the only one who thought: “Holy shit! Eggsy looks a lot like Harry,” when he got dressed in his bespoke suit. So I am going with the assumption that sometimes people have do a double take when they see Eggsy to make sure that it is not a ghost of a dearly departed friend and badass agent they are seeing. And that there are times when Merlin cannot look at the younger man without seeing his former friend/co-worker/lover. Eggsy is not traumatized because he gets that Merlin is in a very fucked up head-space. Also, Eggsy now lives in Harry’s former house.

It was the 1 year anniversary of Harry Hart’s death, the former Galahad and Merlin, Eggsy and Roxy were all feeling the lost; more so Merlin and Eggsy as they had witnessed not only the brutal church massacre but Harry’s death as well. Merlin made sure that the three of them all had the day off to do what they needed to in order to get through the day.

Eggsy decked out in a suit identical to the one Harry had made for him decided to visit Harry’s grave and Roxy accompanied him. They both laid beautiful bouquets of white lilies and spent an hour and forty-five minutes telling Harry about the past year. The two friends parted ways at the cemetery gate with Eggsy telling Roxy that he was going to check on Merlin and with a hug the two went in separate directions.

When Eggsy arrived at Merlin’s house he had to pick the lock to get in after ten minutes of knocking and no answer. “’Ello? Merlin?” He called when he walked into the foyer. Taking off his shoes Eggsy made his way into the living room where the sight of many empty liquor bottles, some of very expensive scotch and whiskey littered the living room throw rug around the couch. Taking in the sight and doing a mental calculation Eggsy arrived at the conclusion that no human being could consume that much alcohol and still be alive; with that thought he made a mad dash upstairs in order to locate the older man.

“MERLIN! Merlin!” Eggsy shouted as he ran towards the man’s bedroom. Eggsy had been to the man’s house only twice before and he had never been upstairs but that did not stop him from bursting into the bedroom, the door swinging back into the all so hard that he was sure the handle left a mark in in the wall. He saw some more empty liquor bottles on the bedside table and turned to the bathroom when he heard Merlin throwing up.

Eggsy calmed his racing heart as he stuck his head in the door and saw the older man with his head in the toilet bowl sounding as if he was puking up his stomach and from the amount Eggsy assumed he drank it would be just was well. “Merlin? It’s Eggsy.” The young man made his presence known so as not to frighten the man currently puking up his guts.

Eggsy grabbed a rag and went to run in under the cold water tap. “Aw mate, were ya’ tryin’ ta drink ya’ weight in alcohol?” He asked as he lowered himself too his knees beside Merlin and draped the damp cool rag over the back of his neck. Merlin’s answer to that was another round of rigorous vomiting. After a couple of dry heaves Merlin finally sat back with his back to the bathtub and looked at Eggsy with slight glassy, but extremely bloodshot eyes. “Eggsy?” He asked, his already thick accent sounding even thicker due to him still being slightly drunk and the soreness of his throat.

“Yea, it’s me mate. What were ya’ thinkin’?” Eggsy said as he crawled towards Merlin and used another rad he had wet to wipe Merlin’s sweat soaked face and his mouth and then handed him a cup of water to drink to sooth his sore throat. “I just couldn’t stop replaying his final moments Eggsy. I wanted them to stop.” Merlin said and Eggsy’ heart broke when he heard the older man’s voice crack and saw the tears roll down his eye.

“Mate, there are better ways of copin’ or hell if ya’ wanted to drink ya’ shoulda’ called me and we could have drank together. No one should drink alone and give themselves alcohol poisoning.” Eggsy said cupping the man’s cheek. “And with that said let’s get ya’ cleaned up. Do ya’ want a bath or shower?” “A shower please. It’s quicker.” Merlin said.

“Okay, sit on the edge of the tub and let’s get these pants off.” Eggsy wanting to be a good friends kept himself from staring at the fit, good looking man in front of him and helped him get clean, dried and into a clean pair of pyjama  pants. “C’mon, let’s get you into bed.” Eggsy supported the older man to his bed and got him under the covers and then got him some more water to drink. Merlin was still tipsy and looked a bit out of it, but did not look as if he would be sick again anytime soon.

“I miss him so much Eggsy. I miss Harry.” Merlin said, more of a mumble that Eggsy had to take a moment to decipher what he had said. “I do too Merlin, but ya’have me and we can miss him together.” “Do you mean that?” Merlin asked looking up with Eggsy with wet eyes and a tear slipped down his cheek.  Eggsy couldn’t help himself and he pulled the older man into a bone crushing hug, “Of course I mean it. You will always have me Merlin.” He said and he felt the other man’s arms around him, hugging back just as tightly and felt him nuzzle his neck with a sigh of relief.

Eggsy thought nothing of it, he was just a friend offering comfort to a heartbroken friend; that is until Merlin uttered “you smell good Harry,” and kissed Eggsy on his neck. Eggsy stiffened and was about to pull back to correct Merlin when the world tilted and he found himself on his back with the older man above him, straddling his thighs and holding down his hands on either sides of his head. “Merlin! I’m not-hmmp!” Eggsy began to say only to be cut off by a harsh kiss from Merlin.

“Dear God Harry. I missed you so much.” Merlin whispered against Eggsy lips before going in for another kiss only Eggsy to turn his head, but this did not stop Merlin who simply planned kisses from his cheek down to his neck where he got started on making the world’s biggest hickey on Eggsy’s neck. Eggsy started struggling, trying to dislodge the older man; but no matter who much Eggsy has been trained it was a different story going up against an agent who has thirty plus years of experience on you especially when that agent is Merlin.

“Merlin! Snap of it! I’m not ‘arry! It’s me Eggsy!” He shouted twisting his body under Merlin’s that only seemed to encourage the older man to carry on with his actions “Fuck Harry. You feel so good.” He whispered hotly against Eggsy’s ear before licking the shell and sucking the lode into his mouth and Eggsy shuddered in revulsion. When Merlin grinded down into him, he started struggling even more when he felt the man’s hard on. “C’mon mate. I’m not Harry!” Eggsy said again this time near tears, as he couldn’t dislodge the man atop him and he had no idea how far Merlin would go before he came back to his senses.

Merlin moved both of Eggsy’s arms to hold them above his head in one hand while he use the other to open the young man’s jacket and divest him of his tie and open his dress shirt. Eggsy had no time to admire how he did this deftly with one hand, when said hand moved down to the waist of his pants and started to undo his belt. “Merlin! Please! DON”T! I’m not Harry!!” Eggsy all but screamed when Merlin had unbuttoned and unzipped his pant and slipped his hand in to circle the younger man’s cock.

Eggsy tried kicking and kneeing Merlin in his side but nothing worked. “Shhh, Harry, I’ll make it so good for you.” Merlin whispered and then set to probing Eggsy’s untouched hole with his finger. Eggsy was almost hyperventilating, he had never touched himself there much less by another person. He had never even been with a person of the same sex and while he was not blind to Merlin’s good looks he would never want his first time with a man, with Merlin to be like this. Yes, it would hurt Eggsy but it would _destroy_ Merlin for hurting his late friend/lover’s protégé in such a horrible way.

Eggsy had finally succeeded in freeing one of his hands and landed a solid punch on Merlin’s cheek bone, flipped over and was scrambling to get off the bed and put some distance between them when he felt a strong arm wrap around his waist in a vice-like grip and pull him back on the bed. He was even more defenceless now on his stomach than he was on his back; he was about to try and push up on his arms when a solid weight settled on his back forcing him even more into the mattress and he felt Merlin’s erection press against his ass.

“Dear God, no. Please don’t Merlin! Please! Eggsy cried as Merlin pulled his pants down and the cool air hit his bare ass.

“It’s Eggsy! Merlin, Harry’s dead!” He shouted when he felt Merlin shift to pull down his pyjama pants.

“Please wake up! Don’t hurt me! Merlin please it’s not too late! We can go back! Merlin!” He pleaded as he felt the older man’s erection probe his virgin hole, no lube being used this was going to hurt a lot more than any of Dean’s beatings ever did.

Eggsy let out a blood curdling scream as Merlin pushed in with one hard thrust. He did not wait for Eggsy to become accustom to his girth or length and he started thrusting in and out; unconscious to Eggsy’s screams and attempts at escaping the pain; physical, emotional and mental. Eggsy screamed from the pain, he felt as if he was being torn in two, he could feel the blood running down his legs from the tears he knew he received to his anus. He knew that tomorrow he would have finger shaped bruises from where Merlin is holding down his hips in a tight grip.

Eggsy had screamed himself hoarse by the time Merlin had come in him, groaning out Harry’s name and releasing his semen into Eggsy’s abused body before collapsing beside the young man. Eggsy’s last thought before he blacked out beside Merlin was _shite I need to clean this up_.

“Dear God, no. What have I done?” Eggsy heard this and was slow to waking up. When he opened his eyes, he saw from the bedside clock that it was 6:30 P.M. in the evening and the room was cast in a warm orange glow from a bedside lamp. He registered that he was on his stomach and then the events of the day caught up to him and he flew up wincing and doubling over at the pain that shot up his backside and his hips.

“Eggsy…” he heard his name and turned to face a very horrified Merlin, who was looking at the state and condition of his body, the hickey on his neck, the finger print bruises on his hips and then down to the blood and semen that had long since dried on the sheets between his legs. “Eggsy…I’m so, _so very sorry_.” Merlin said, despair in his eyes, thinking that he had damaged his young friend beyond repair. “So I guess ya’re back to ya’ senses.” Eggsy said, voice hoarse and raspy from screaming and smiling easily. Merlin let out a wounded sound at that, going to reach for the young man beside him and aborting the movement mid-way. “May I use your shower to clean up?” He asked and Merlin could only nod his head.

Eggsy took his time getting up and off the bed and when he was sure he could stand and walk without falling he made his way to the bathroom slowly, fully aware of Merlin watching him in horror. When he was behind the closed door of the bathroom, he leant against it for support and let out a shuddering breath. He looked up and saw himself in the mirror. He saw his red-rimmed, blood-shot eyes from the crying, saw the hickey on his neck and the finger print bruises courtesy of his pants still being open.

He took a breath and proceeded to strip, just dropping his clothes on the floor and kicking them to the side, got into the shower and turned on the hot water to full blast. Eggsy lost time of how long he stood under the spray of the water washing away all the physical evidence that could be washed away and thinking about how to go about this cluster-fuck of a situation. When he got out of the shower and dried off as best as he could without agitating his wounds and bruises he went back into the bedroom where he found a pile of folded clothes for him on a bed that had been stripped of its soiled sheets and had clean one put on.

After getting dressed he made his way down to the kitchen where he could hear Merlin making tea. He stopped in the doorway and watched the older man putter around the kitchen; he had changed into a pair of sweat pants and an old sweat shirt that had ‘Oxford’ printed on the front. Merlin became aware of his presence and as soon has he made eye contact with him he turned back to the kettle. “I made tea; would you like some?” he asked, “tha’ would be swell.” Eggsy said moving into the kitchen and gingerly sat on the thankfully padded breakfast high-chair at the breakfast bar. Merlin passed Eggsy a cup of tea which he sweetened to his liking and took a sip of watching as Merlin look anywhere but him.

“How are ya’ feelin’?” Eggsy asked causing the older man to jump and level Eggsy with an incredulous look. “Are you really asking how I am?” Merlin asked incredulity clear in his voice. “Really, after I, after what I did to you.” “Yes, I am.” Eggsy said with a calmness about him that Merlin had no idea how he could have. If the tables were turned Merlin would have hightailed out of the place and refuse to have anything to do with his attacker.

“Look mate, ya were in a bad place alright and shit happened. I came over here because I was concerned about ya’ well-being, still am in fact.” Eggsy said as if not hours ago Merlin had not repaid his kindness by violating him. “I raped you Eggsy!!! I _RAPED_ you!” Merlin shouted and Eggsy swore the man was turning red. “I thought you were Harry and I raped you! I never treated Harry like that and you his protégé, my friend, I hurt you.” Merlin looked as if he was about to cry again.

“Merlin,” Eggsy began, sliding off his seat to walk around the breakfast bar towards Merlin who took a step backwards causing Eggsy to stop. “Merlin, yes, ya’ did hurt me; but I’m not angry with ya’. I’m not blaming ya’ for your actions okay. Ya’ were in a very bad head-space but ya’ are now out of it. Ya’ realized what ya’ did and ya’ regret it; that means that ya’ did not want to hurt me. It was just a case of mistaken identity.” “It’s not just that simple Eggsy. You look so much like Harry, that even when I am not blackout drunk I have to do double-takes to make sure it is not him I am talking to or see walking the halls of Kingsman’s manor. You even sound like him at times.” Merlin said.

Eggsy considered Merlin’s words then asked “okay, what can I do to make it easier for ya’?” Merlin looked up “huh?’ He asked eloquently. “What can I do so that I don’t remind ya’ of harry at every turn? Dye my hair? Get an army cut? Try speaking with a different accent, move to another house?” Merlin realized that Eggsy was serious about changing himself so as to prevent Merlin from seeing the ghost of his dead lover in him. Merlin felt overwhelmed by the sincerity radiating off of the young man in front of him “Eggsy you are a gem. You are so damn special. Don’t ever change; not for me, not for anyone. Because this right here,” Merlin indicated all Eggsy with his hand “this is what makes you, you and I would hate myself if you ever changed because of me. So don’t change anything; stay just how you are.”

Eggsy smiled his million watt smile and Merlin found himself returning it. “So do ya’ want to talk about what happened?” He asked Merlin shook his head and asked “do you?” “Not really, no. It’s just, I might need some medical treatment. Something tore and I hurt like a bitch.” Merlin’s eyes widened at that “shite! I am so stupid! Of course you’re going to need medical treatment. Would you like to see one of our two Kingsman’s psychiatrists or psychologists? Do you want to make a formal complaint?” Merlin asked looking away.

To say Eggsy was bewildered would be the understatement of the year. “I get the medical treatment, but why would I want to see a psychiatrist or psychologist for or make a complaint for?” Then his eyes widened “ya’ think I’m damaged now? That every time I see ya’ I’m going to flashback to today? Because my first time with a man was-” “What?!” Merlin eyes snapped up to meet his “what? What?” Eggsy asked thoroughly confused at this point. “it was your first time with a man?” Merlin asked voice small. “Shite.” Eggsy said _here we go again._

“You were a virgin?” Merlin asked in a small voice, “Uhh, no, not a virgin in the technical sense. I have been with females, not males. I don’t think I swing that way.” Eggsy explained. “That does not make it any better Eggsy, your first time with a man was a rape.” Merlin looked exhausted and defeated by now and took a seat at the breakfast bar. “I am positive Harry is rolling in his grave.”

“Harry is not rolling in his grave Merlin.” Eggsy said, going to sit beside Merlin. “Listen we jus’ keep going in circles. I am not angry or traumatized by wha’ happened. I am not going to seek professional help from a psychologist and I am definitely not going to report ya’. What I am though is disappointed.” At that Merlin looked at Eggsy, “disappointed? What about?” “The fact that ya’ were sufferin’ by ya’ self and did not think to call me for support. I am not only ya’ colleague, I am ya’ friend as well. I am here to listen to ya’ and give ya’ a shoulder to lean on when ya’ can’t stand up by ya’ self.” Eggsy said with a small smile.

“So this is what we are goin’ to do. Ya’ are going to have a shower and I am going to order in some pizza and then the both of us are goin’ to settle in front of the telly and watch some Disney cartoons. How’s tha’ sound mate?” Merlin smiled at the idea “that sounds swell Eggsy.” “Brilliant, off ya’ go then.” Merlin got up from his seat to make his way upstairs, “Eggsy,” he called out from the bottom of the stairs “Yes, Merlin?” “Thank you for everything. I mean it. You are a bloody good friend.” Eggsy gave him a bright smile and got up from his seat to approach the older man and when he was close enough he pulled him into another bone crushing hug. “Ya’ are most welcome Merlin. We will get through this. I promise ya’.” Merlin returned the hug and then turned to go upstairs knowing that Eggsy would keep his promise and that they would really be okay.

 

** The End. **

 

 

 


End file.
